


Relationship status: Fake

by Braggvin



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2020-07-23 07:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20004424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Braggvin/pseuds/Braggvin
Summary: Matt sighed and practically gritted his teeth as he spoke, “Geoff Ramsey, would you do me the honour of deceiving my ex and her wedding guests into thinking we are a normal, happy couple?”“I thought you’d never ask.”“Geoff you just fucking told me to.”***In which Matt needs a pretend date to his ex's wedding and Geoff volunteers. How long will they pine for? How much can Matt blush in a day? Will there be bed-sharing?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while but I decided that there was no better day to post this first chapter than on my best boi's birthday!! Rowan, @ rothecooldad, as always this is dedicated to you my love <3 (go wish him happy birthday!!!)
> 
> Here I am again, shipping rare pairs, not proof reading, and still loving Matt.
> 
> Obviously this fic is just for fun, any relationships here are not meant to depict reality and I respect everyone's real life partner's. (Matt's ex is a complete OC, she isn't bashed in this fic and is NOT meant to represent his irl girlfriend)
> 
> I have the next couple of chapters written already so the wait shouldn't be too long.
> 
> Enjoy this trope filled madness!

Matt felt like shit, and he knew it wasn’t hiding it well.

He might have gotten away with his first bout of silence during recording. He’d been wandering aimlessly back and forth in Minecraft and hadn’t replied to a couple of questions directed at him which had luckily been dealt with by other members of the group. After about ten minutes (so he was told) of silence, Geoff reached back to shake his shoulder and gave him a questioning thumbs up after catching his attention. He’d sent an unconvincing thumbs up back and returned to the video with a laugh as vacant as he felt.

Even when Gavin had caught him staring into space, having to spin his chair around to catch his attention, he’d been able to brush it off as tiredness. Everyone knew Matt had a tendency to stay up too late and they accepted the excuse.

Refusing donuts at lunch was probably the tell-tale sign. Michael and Lindsay had bought enough for everyone in Achievement Hunter, and somehow Michael had noticed that Matt didn’t join the rush to grab one.

He approached Matt and tapped at the headphones he was wearing until he took them off.

“Hey Bragg, there’s donuts over there.”

“Oh, thanks but I’m not really hungry today.”

Michael opened his mouth and Matt braced for the obvious joke but it never came. Instead Michael shrugged and walked away.

The other guys in the room seemed to pick up on Matt’s lack of energy right away and the room’s usual chatter was stilted. When Matt spilled his coffee for the second time, it passed without comment as the first time had. Alfredo silently helped to mop up the mess and Jeremy left the room as he offered to get Matt a new cup.

***

It wasn’t unusual for him to be one of the last in the office, he found that he avoided a lot of traffic by staying a bit later. However, the last half hour had been spent with his head on the desk, trying to think his way out of the predicament he’d found himself in.

Geoff walked into the room and started when Matt sat up at his desk.

“Jeez Matt, I didn’t know you were still here. Man, you look like crap.”

Matt didn’t have the heart to fire back a snarky response when he saw the look of genuine concern of Geoff’s face, and opted for a shrug instead.

“Right come on, we’re going for donuts,” Geoff held up a hand to cut off Matt’s protests, “Nuh-uh. I know for a fact that you didn’t have one at lunch and that bitch Ryan ate mine, and probably yours too.”

***

“Oh come on, people have been noticing it all day,” Geoff handed a donut to Matt as he took a seat next to him on the park bench. “ _Oh_ _I'm just tired,"_ he mocked, in a voice very reminiscent of Eeyore.

"No one's been falling for your excuses, we all know what tired Matt looks like and this isn’t it. Hell, I haven’t seen you this down since Ally broke up with you.”

Geoff spotted Matt’s wince and groaned, “Don’t tell me she broke up with you  _ again _ . That would be impossible but knowing your luck...”

Matt picked at the sprinkles on his donut, eating them one by one. It helped him to avoid eye contact with Geoff briefly but he knew he wasn’t getting out of this one. Geoff had threatened to abandon him in this park he’d driven them to if Matt didn’t tell him why he’d been having such a shitty day, and Matt didn’t doubt that he’d go through with it.

"She’s getting married.”

“Shit dude, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, and I promised I’d go to the wedding when she rang this morning.”

“Uh, excuse me, what?”

Matt realised how it sounded when he said it out loud. Okay, so maybe he’d lied to Ally when he said he felt the same about their break up and  _ of course  _ they could still be friends. Maybe it was actually taking him years to get over her. Maybe Ally was blissfully unaware of this and kept making plans with Matt and inviting him to things. Maybe it was a lovely friendship from her perspective and heart wrenching pining from his. Maybe. 

It wasn't like Matt was hoping for them to get back together, he knew their time was over. He’d even had relationships since then, but he just couldn’t seem to get over her. As her friend, he had to go to her wedding, even if it hurt a bit.

Explaining this to Geoff wasn’t easy, he’d managed to get half a word out before he was interrupted.

“Hey Matt? Remember that time I told you you have to stop seeing this chick because it’s clearly tearing you up?”

Matt sighed and slumped back, taking a big bite of his donut. He almost regretted telling Geoff about all that stuff with Ally, but it wasn’t as if he’d had a choice. He’d been drunk and sad in front of him too many times to stop himself.

“Ugh Geoff I’ve  _ really  _ fucked things up. I fuckin’ told her-” Matt groaned and took a bite of his donut so that his words became unintelligible.

“Matt…” Geoff sounded like he was warning him, about something he was far too late to stop.

“I told her... I’mdatingthisguy and  _ now  _ she wants to...meet him before the wedding.”

The words came out in a jumble but Geoff evidently grasped their meaning; he started a number of sentences he didn’t seem able to finish and eventually just threw his hands up in disbelief. After getting that off his chest, Matt wasn’t able to stop his runaway train of thought.

“I wanted to show her that I was doing fine without her, that I wasn't pathetic and alone when obviously I  _ am _ . But I can’t let her down because I promised and if I show up by myself she’ll know something’s up. Yeah, and the only people I’ll know there were “our” friends and they’ll definitely make a thing of it, and I don’t want to go alone and-”

“Alright, alright I accept.” Geoff was smiling now despite having made no sense at all.

“I’m not sure if you’ve ever had a conversation before Geoff but typically you  _ reply  _ to people rather than making weird random statements.”

Geoff clapped a hand to Matt’s back, “That wasn’t a conversation, it was a dumpster fire. One that I might just be able to extinguish.”

“Dude, what the fuck is this metaphor?” Matt turned his attention back to his donut.

“Hey, I'm the one who reads and shit. You telling your ex that you’re bringing your imaginary boyfriend to her wedding is the dumpster fire. I’m gonna extinguish it by-”

“By pissing all over it.”

“By being your fake boyfriend.”

Matt almost spat out his mouthful, “Mmf, wha-?” 

“I accept your request for me to be your pretend date to this wedding”

Matt had a pained expression that wasn’t entirely down to the piece of donut he’d swallowed without chewing properly. Pretending to date his sort-of-boss? And doing it convincingly? The very prospect sent his heart rate into overdrive. 

“I didn’t ask for that.”

“Only because you weren’t smart enough to come up with it,” Not only did Geoff seem serious about this idea, he looked excited. “This way you won’t have to bail on Ally, you can show me off in front of your so called “friends”. Plus, if you wanna get shitfaced at the wedding I can make sure you don’t do anything stupid and I’ll drive you home.”

Matt chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. There certainly were a lot of positives to this plan. It helped that Geoff was an attractive dude, people would be impressed. Plus, with Geoff by his side at the wedding he might actually have some fun. At the very least he might not have the  _ worst  _ day of his life.

“You’re serious about this right?” Matt wanted to make sure it wasn’t some terrible practical joke, although this would be too far even for Geoff, “you’re really gonna help me?”

Geoff’s smile softened a little, “Matt, if you have to go to this wedding, I’m not letting you go stag. Friends don't let friends look pathetic and alone to their exes. Who knows, seeing Ally get married might help you finally get over her.”

He dusted the powdered sugar off of his trousers and stood up, “Go on then, ask me.”

“Oh, come on…”

“Nope. You’re not getting a date with this hot piece of ass unless you ask nicely first.”

Matt sighed and practically gritted his teeth as he spoke, “Geoff Ramsey, would you do me the honour of deceiving my ex and her wedding guests into thinking we are a normal, happy couple?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“Geoff you just fucking told me to.”

***

After texting back and forth, Matt made plans for Ally to meet Geoff a couple of days later. In the process, he’d had to break the news to Geoff that the wedding was actually in a couple of weeks. He’d been procrastinating confirming his presence at the wedding, having repressed the fact that he’d even received an invitation since he’d read Ally’s name entwined with someone else’s and surrounded by flowery doodles. Luckily she was in Austin for the week as two of her bridesmaids were here and they were… doing whatever people do to get ready for a wedding.

Geoff had offered to drive Matt to the café where they were meeting Ally, pointing out that it would be a little suspicious for them to arrive and leave totally separately, even if they weren’t claiming to live together. It also gave Matt the chance to have a last minute freak out en route. 

“She’s gonna catch us out, we are so screwed. Should we have like, memorised stuff about each other?”

“She isn’t going to be interrogating us dumbass. We’ve known each other for what, five years? We should know more about each other than people who’ve been dating each other for half a year.”

As Geoff turned left Matt reached out to grip the door for security, an action that had more to do with his own nerves than Geoff’s driving.

“Yeah but we hardly ever see each other outside of work,” Matt’s breathing stuttered and the pitch of his voice rose, “We haven’t even come up with a story for how we met!”

“That’s easy, we tell her the truth. Sort of.” Geoff pulled into the car park and craned his neck as he searched for a space, “We met when I hired you, been working together for years, started having feelings… a while back, then seven months ago I asked you for a date. It’s been going well ever since. We'll make it sound romantic as dicks.”

Before Matt could question the choice of simile, Geoff pulled into a space and he spotted a familiar car. He recognised it from the last time he met Ally and sure enough she was stood next to it. She had let her hair return to its natural brown colour so that only the ends were navy blue now. Other than that she looked the same as she had a few months ago. She shielded her eyes from the sun and waved when she recognised Matt, rising up onto her toes as if that would help them see her better. Matt waved back and Geoff followed suit.

Geoff turned off the ignition and turned to Matt, “There’s still time to tell her your very embarrassing truth. But if I get out of the car there’s no going back, you ready?”

He wasn't trying to convince Matt to back out. In fact, it felt like he was doing the opposite. Matt was beginning to think he was a glutton for punishment, the risk element suddenly held some interest for him. He’d been working at Achievement Hunter for too damn long.

“Are you?”

Geoff scoffed at the challenge, “Let’s see how it goes, shall we?”

Matt’s legs were only a little unsteady as they got out of the car. Geoff quickly made his way to Matt’s side, very close to Matt’s side actually. As the few inches of space between friends and boyfriends dissipated, Matt felt his heart falter. Let the charade begin.

After Matt and Ally had hugged, Geoff offered her a handshake. His wide smile would have looked perfectly genuine to most people, but Matt knew better. Luckily, Ally couldn’t know that it was just too sweet to be real.

“Hi Ally, I’m Geoff,” Ally returned the handshake enthusiastically and Geoff clasped her hand in both of his for a moment, “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you.”

It was true, Matt supposed. All the times he’d told Geoff that Ally had been too good for him in many ways were complimentary in a sense. Not that he’d like her to hear about that.

“Geoff! Unfortunately, I’ve heard almost nothing about you,” she threw a look of mock annoyance to Matt, “You’ve been together seven months and I only found out you existed the other day”

Matt had told Ally in their last conversation that he was waiting until things were going really well with Geoff before introducing him to friends and family and he repeated this excuse now.

Geoff nodded, “Yeah, plus we’ve had to keep it under wraps at work for now so it was easier to keep it secret in general. Workplace relationships, you know? There’s rules and paperwork and office gossip to deal with. We wanted to be sure.”

The charming smile Geoff gave Matt was just too weird. This was his boss, and now Matt had to deal with flirting and affection from him? The fact that it was all pretend didn’t seem to help. Not to mention, Matt was supposed to reciprocate appropriately. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as he had let Geoff convince him into thinking it would be.

***

Matt was surprised by how well Geoff and Ally were getting on. Geoff had only pretended to forget her name a couple of times before he was sucked into laughing at her jokes and bonding over how “useless” Matt was. Affectionately of course, which somehow made it weirder.

“Would you believe it Ally,” Geoff began, gesturing to Matt with a jerk of the head, “he hasn’t even told me where the wedding is yet.” 

Ally rolled her eyes, amused, “Dallas. Maybe I should text  _ you  _ the address to make sure you guys actually get there. Don’t tell me he hasn’t asked you about the party the night before?”

Geoff just gave Matt a sideways questioning glance and Ally groaned exaggeratedly at Matt’s shrug. Luckily, she’d seen nothing fishy about Matt’s lack of organisation. He supposed he should be thankful that his initial avoidance of Ally’s wedding could be disguised as a default character trait.

“Yeah, David and I aren’t doing the whole batchelor/batchelorette thing, just a joint party the night before. I’d love it if you guys could make it. I really want you to meet David before the actual wedding.”

Matt was worried that turning this into a weekend long deception would be a deal breaker for Geoff but he smiled, taking it in stride. 

“Absolutely. Matt and I have been trying to get a weekend away anyway, isn’t that right babe?”

_ Babe. _

Matt was thankful for the universe’s timing. If that bombshell of a word had come two seconds later Matt would have been choking on his soda. As it was, he managed to hide his surprise behind his glass and taking a sip gave him a chance to process. Oh he was going to kill Geoff. He was one more sickly smile or, god forbid, another pet name away from homicide. 

Although, when he thought about it, Geoff was only doing what he was supposed to do. Treating him like his boyfriend. God, Matt was out of practice. He sent a quick mental  _ fuck you  _ to whatever universal force had put him in this situation and dragged himself back into the conversation.

“Uh, yeah. Let’s hope we can get a room booked at short notice.”

Let's hope  _ not _ , more like. Every minute of make-believe felt like a push towards a full scale breakdown. Maybe this was how Britney felt before she shaved her head.

Ally swatted the statement away, “Don’t worry about that, the wedding and reception are at the same hotel and we’ve got plenty of rooms booked for guests. Now you have no excuse for being late,” Ally leaned in and lowered her voice meaningfully “and you lovebirds can sneak off whenever you like. I’ve heard that weddings really put people in the mood. Oh! Speaking of...”

Ally pulled her backpack onto her lap and began rummaging, thankfully missing the pink tinge on Matt’s cheeks. He looked to a smirking Geoff who winked at him. Matt’s heart slumped against his ribcage with a thump that had to be audible.

He pulled his eyes away from Geoff in time to see Ally produce a camera from the depths of her bag, “Here we are. I have to admit guys, I did have an ulterior motive in meeting you today.”

Even Geoff seemed concerned by this and Ally chuckled as she fiddled with the settings.

“Don’t worry, I’m doing this with all the guests. Just a little project I want you to be part of. A souvenir, a memento. Alright, squish together, squish!”

Geoff rested his arm on the back of Matt’s chair and leaned in. Matt met him halfway and felt his mouth go dry as he attempted to smile.

Ally groaned, “Oh come on, you’re looking at the camera like I’m holding a shotgun. Give us a smile or do something fun.”

Matt didn’t have time to figure out what “something fun” might be since Geoff had apparently decided for him. Geoff flashed a brief grin and launched into tickling Matt. Matt yelped at the sudden contact to his waist, grabbing uselessly at Geoff’s hands.

For a few moments, it was as if Ally wasn’t there. Geoff’s was teasing Matt, his voice light-hearted and affectionate, but Matt couldn’t hear what he was saying over his own uncontrollable laughter.

Eventually Geoff changed tactic and grabbed Matt’s wrists to stop the retaliatory jabs, an arm around him to reach his furthest hand. At the relief that this lack of tickling brought, Matt collapsed into Geoff’s side, shoving him lightly but still chuckling.

That’s when Geoff turned his head and pressed his lips to Matt’s cheek. It was slower than a peck, as if pushing meaning into the movement, and Matt lost his breath for a second.

“Aw that was perfect,” Ally set her camera down, face beaming, “I promise I’ll use the most flattering ones.”

Geoff had let go, but their personal space was still almost non-existent. The outrage Matt had felt earlier had melted away though. Screw it, he thought. This is how a real couple would be, right? And it wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, aside from the possibly permanent damage to his heart and nerves. They stayed like that until Matt had to use the bathroom, leaving the two alone together. Matt realised that he was now a lot less worried about Geoff, it was clear he was going to take this endeavour seriously and he was pretty fucking good at it.

***

As Matt made his way back to the table he saw Ally holding the camera across to Geoff who was smiling and nodding. But there was something else in his expression, a split second shift in his body language that he corrected immediately but left echoes in the glances he gave to the photographs.

Ally sensed Matt approaching and put the camera into her bag, standing up as she did so “No sneak peeks for you Matt, but your boyfriend was too charming to refuse.”

Matt laughed, “That’s Geoff alright.” 

“I’m sorry I have to rush off, it’s a busy day unfortunately,” Ally stood on her tiptoes to hug Matt, “It’s been good to see you, you’ve really picked a winner there.”

Geoff shot Matt a look that said “ _ See?”  _ over Ally’s shoulder and gave her a quick hug when she turned to him.

“Now, you seem like a great guy,” Ally began, a playful seriousness creeping into her tone, “but if you hurt Matt, you’re gonna have me to deal with. Look after him, yeah?”

“For as long as he’ll let me.” Geoff assured.

As he said this, Matt felt a hand brush against his. He restrained himself from flinching and when Geoff's fingers wound their way through his, he tightened his hand reflexively. 

***

“I think this is gonna work.”

“Mhm?” Matt looked up from his phone. He’d been idly opening apps and closing them again, with no aim other than to distract himself from  _ that  _ whole series of events.

“She let me peek at the photos of us. They’re cute. Convincing, ya know?”

“Well that’s good, I guess. Now we only have dozens of old friends and strangers left to convince”

Geoff groaned, “You always have to be glass-half-fuckin-empty, don’t you? Look, we did pretty well today, despite the fact that we didn't have each others social security numbers and fuckin’... horoscopes memorised”

“I’ve technically known you for quite a bit longer than 5 years…” This was something that wasn’t often mentioned in the office, and Matt was grateful for that. Apart from the rare comment from Gavin about Matt being a fanboy and getting his rocks off to achievement guides, his fan to employee status wasn’t a primary focus. He was hesitant to bring it up, he didn’t want to analyse  _ this  _ situation in  _ that  _ context. 

Geoff only hummed in admission, “And I’m a good listener.”

Although it was second-nature to cut down Geoff’s self-congratulatory claims, Matt had to admit that their debut as a “couple” had gone smoothly. 

“Yeah, we're the dream team I guess."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on holiday at the minute so I'm sorry that I took longer than I thought to get the next chapter to you!   
> Special thanks to those who commented, I really wasn't sure anyone would enjoy reading this fic other than the particular person I wrote it for.
> 
> Also! I've changed my username to Braggvin (used to be captainandersmith) as that is what I've been called on Tumblr for a long time, go say hi to me there if you feel like it. (My real name is Grace btw)
> 
> Enjoy this next chapter

The aim had been not to tell anyone in the office about their arrangement until absolutely necessary, to minimise the hours spent teasing them both. They'd agreed on it for the sake of their workload as well as their sanity. If jokes about this made it into filming, the footage would most certainly be compromised.

Not that any of this mattered now, if Michael's immediate cackling as Matt walked through the door of the office was anything to go by. Gavin was smirking and bouncing up and down in his chair and Jack peered over his monitor to cheer.

Matt threw his bag under his desk and turned to Geoff who at least had the decency to look sheepish, “You told  _ Gavin _ ?”

“Jack actually. Made the mistake of thinking that motherfucker was sensible enough to keep his mouth shut.”

At this point Jeremy entered humming “here comes the bride” followed by Ryan who stopped in his tracks to make eye contact with Matt and clutch at his heart. Lindsay looked as if she was about to launch into a best man style speech but was stopped by the arrival of an amused but apprehensive looking Trevor. He threw an unprecedented “office announcement moonball” to get everyone’s attention and the office fell into relative quiet (Gavin was still moaning about his "gennies" that had fallen casualty to the moonball).

“Alright guys, I know we’re all big fans of our new Romeo and Juliet-”

“I’m Romeo.” Geoff and Matt called simultaneously, each throwing the other a challenging glare.

“Matt you’re obviously Juliet,” Trevor’s statement was largely met with agreement from the room other than Lindsay who objected to the comparison as a whole.

“Those dumbass bitches ended up killing themselves. I’m thinking these two are a Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger situation.”

“I wish I knew how to quit you,” Michael drawled, resting his hand on Matt's shoulder only to be quickly shrugged off.

“Wait, Jake Gyllenhaal is gay?”

“Brokeback mountain? It's a movie Jeremy.” Jack managed to sound appalled without looking away from his screen.

“And a book.” Geoff supplied, earning a few raised eyebrows from the others, “that story didn't exactly end happy either, maybe we're more like-”

“ANYWAY...” Trevor threw his hands up and waited for everyone to be quiet again, “So far only Achievement Hunter know about this… arrangement, and we’re going to keep it that way. Got it?”

Trevor rarely sounded this serious and it showed in the others reactions. That and they knew as well as he did how easily this admittedly strange plan could be blown out of proportion if it became known to the rest of the company, or god forbid the entire community. It was best to keep this secret for as long as possible. 

“Thanks Trevor.” Geoff stood and pulled on his jacket, “Are we still good to take the morning off?”

“Yeah, pretty sure these chucklefucks won’t get any work done with you guys around anyway”

Geoff gestured to Matt to come with him, mumbling something about getting a suit as he left the room. The short-lived quiet was broken and Matt hurriedly grabbed his things, trying to leave before his blush became apparent. He was unsuccessful if Ryan’s wolf whistle was anything to go by.

***

It felt like the flush hadn’t faded even as Matt was having his measurements taken at the suit rental place, although Geoff wasn’t exactly helping. He had suggested that they try to convince the people working in the store that they were a couple as well, claiming that it would help them practice before they had to deceive more strangers. So far this mainly consisted of Geoff jokingly reproaching the sales assistant for getting too “handsy” as he took Matt’s measurements. It seemed convenient to Matt that Geoff already had a suit at home and so there would be no opportunity for revenge.

“Woah, careful there Cole. Hands off my man.”

Unfortunately for Geoff, Cole seemed to be lacking a sense of humour and was stingy with his words. He grunted ambiguously and left to pick out some options for Matt to try on.

Geoff scoffed, “God tough crowd, huh? He didn’t even comment on how cute we are… or at least how cute  _ I  _ am.”

Matt rolled his eyes but he was getting used to squaring up to Geoff on these jokes.

“I dunno Geoff, I think I was more his type. The dude was feeling me up after all.”

“Yeah well don’t make a habit of it, you’re my boyfriend remember?”

Matt attempted to reply verbally but found that the air escaped him and so he nodded dumbly instead. To his surprise Geoff just smiled in response and reached for his hand, then he spotted Cole beckoning him from the changing rooms.

That made sense. They were attempting to put on a show after all.

In the spirit of this Matt continued holding Geoff’s hand loosely as he walked away, letting the hand slip from his own as he approached an unfazed looking Cole.

***

“Uh yeah, I think that’s the one.”

Matt thought that Geoff was joking at first, he’d been silent and unreadable when he’d emerged in the third suit, only speaking after repeated prompting. His eventual comment sounded too serious to be genuine and Matt sighed and turned to reenter the changing room when Geoff caught his wrist and pulled him back gently.

“No really Matt, you look fucking  _ great  _ dude.”

He’d gained a little enthusiasm this time at least but the supposed sincerity was still freaking Matt out. He’d been expecting a “Meh, that'll do” or a “Nice” at most, he didn’t know how to react to this.

Matt had been nervous about the pastel pink shirt, he'd only gone as far as a plain white one before, but the simple black jacket and trousers helped keep it casual but classy (according to Cole). The shirt also matched the darker streak of pink that his hair was sporting at the time. Matt had tuned out when Cole and Geoff were discussing the cut of the trousers and style of the jacket but whatever they were they were fucking  _ working  _ for him. So much so that he was starting to get self-conscious about how sharp he looked. Like a dumbass. Formal wear tended to have that effect on him, even the goddamn pocket square made him feel awkward. Geoff better be dressed to the same standard, that would make him feel more comfortable at least.

“Um... thanks. Are you sure it will look alright next to yours?”

A little of Geoff’s usual self returned as he threw his hands up, “Yeah Matt, because I would purposely pick out colours that are gonna clash horribly.”

“Man… I don’t fuckin’ know-”

He cut himself off as he returned to the changing room to put his own clothes back on. Geoff continued to berate him teasingly from the other side of the curtain and Matt caught himself smiling in the mirror, glad that no one was there to see it.

***

  


The weekend of the wedding arrived surprisingly fast, particularly since the work days passed pretty much as normal. The other Achievement Hunters had kept to their word about going easy on the teasing, with only the odd joke to a small crowd of witnesses. It was strange that they were totally okay with their two co-workers pretending to date each other, Matt was sure there weren’t many other workplaces that had to deal with that problem, but it helped him feel a lot calmer about the situation. Out of all the jokes so far no one had mentioned the possibility of their ruse not working, and he guessed that was a good sign for events to come.

Matt felt that he was perhaps only a little more flushed than usual as he shoved his bag packed for the weekend under his desk and sent a message to Trevor to remind him that he and Geoff would have to leave early today. The wedding was only in Dallas but if they wanted to make it in time for the party that evening Geoff decided that it would be easier to go straight from work, and before the rush hour traffic set in.

His face might as well have been fire-engine-red with how quickly Michael and Gavin pounced, sidling over to him in a way that would have been casual if not for the smug expressions.

“Good morning  _ dearest, _ ” Gavin simpered.

“Are you looking forward to our holiday  _ honeybun _ ?” Michael added, directing this towards Gavin and it became clear they were engaged in a kind of parody.

Of him and Geoff?

Shit.

“Oh yes Geoff,” said Gavin in what Matt supposed was meant to be an impression of himself, “Only… it's technically our first date and I'm so nervous.”

Michael grabbed at Gavin's hands and seemed as if he was going to launch into a scene from a shitty romcom. Matt wasn’t sure why but he felt the need to splutter to his own defence.

“Okay well I don’t fuckin’ sound like that… and when I’m talking to Geoff I’m not, um, you know. And none of that “dearest” stuff. AND it’s not a real date... idiots.”

The words sounded awkward even to himself and Ryan swivelled around in his chair to raise his eyebrows at Michael and Gavin.

“Told you so.” Ryan was clearly not about to come to Matt’s rescue if his exasperated tone was anything to go by.

Michael threw his hands up and strolled out of the room, muttering something Matt couldn’t hear but he was sure was insulting. Gavin followed in an exaggeratedly similar fashion, the way a little brother might, and soon they could hear Michael yelling to ask Gavin why the  _ fuck  _ he was following him.

Matt turned back to Ryan who was now looking him up and down, eyes squinted, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. He was almost scared to ask what the hell that was all about since his three co workers were apparently on the same, possibly telepathic, wavelength.

“So you seriously…” Ryan exhaled for a long time and it was the most dad-like that Matt had ever seen him. He felt like a kid who had just asked a very awkward question, or one that was too stupid to be easily explained. “You’ve noticed nothing different about you and Geoff recently?”

Matt thought for a second, “Well sure we’ve been joking about with the pet names… a little.” He blushed as he thought back to several instances where Geoff had tacked on an endearing term during normal conversation, accompanying it with a wink or a laugh. Matt had even tried to reciprocate on a few occasions although that seemed to cause more embarrassment for him and more frenzy amongst those witnessing.

_ “Matt, sweetheart? Is everything ready for the ‘things to do’?” _

_ Geoff had propped his head up on the table and was fluttering his eyelashes, much to everyone else’s amusement. _

_ Matt chuckled, “Um, yes dear. Ready to go.” _

_ Stunned silence reigned briefly before its shattering with an outburst of laughter and disbelieving repetitions of the offending word “dear”. _

“See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about!” Ryan was pointing at what Matt assumed to be his rapidly flushing face as the adrenaline of those instances revisited him. “You get all shy as soon as Geoff is brought up, and you’ve both been acting different.”

It was true that their behaviour at the office had changed. After their suit-shopping experience Geoff had noted that the perpetual shade of red that Matt seemed to be sporting throughout their ruse might not go well with the suit. Which was his way of bringing up the fact that he didn’t want to do anything that made Matt uncomfortable. It was sweet really. For his part, Matt hadn’t realised that he looked like he was being held hostage every time Geoff touched him but reassured him that he just wasn’t used to dating, let alone fake dating his co-worker. Somehow this careful conversation had been more awkward than any of the crude jokes or feigned affection. After edging around the subject they managed to gather that either of them was comfortable with anything normal couples did in public. They still picked out a phrase to act as an emergency stop, just in case; a freak out in front the other wedding guests would be game over.

For that reason, Geoff had proposed that they practice, and Matt saw no reason to disagree. The office worked well for this, whenever Geoff passed Matt’s desk he would pause to rest a hand on his shoulder and sometimes Matt would roll his chair over to drape himself over Geoff, inevitably earning a joke about his noodle arms. If Matt began to automatically clasp at the hand on his shoulder and Geoff occasionally turned to kiss Matt’s cheek as he leaned over him, well, it was just a testament to how well their practice was going. Matt had even managed to survive a Let’s Roll with Geoff’s hand resting on his leg in between turns, finding himself subconsciously tracing patterns over Geoff’s knuckles and forearms.

He had assumed that their plan must have been explained to the others as they had mostly turned a blind eye to the hand holding and casual touches, even kissing each other on the cheek brought only quiet cooing and sniggers. There was a silent agreement that this wasn’t to be talked about, until now apparently.

“That’s not… you know why we had to do that stuff Ryan.”

“Oh come on, I’m not even talking about the “pretend” PDA.”

Even if he’d tried to defend himself, Matt would have been pressed to get a syllable in. This was apparently something that Ryan had been thinking about for a while, listing what sounded like any interaction that he and Geoff had over the past couple of weeks. Geoff giving him a lift home after he got too drunk on the podcast, and stopping on the way for pizza. Matt’s little hints to Geoff in competitive “things to do”s and his eagerness to team up wherever possible. Their apparent gravitation towards each other on Off Topic, during lunch, and even in videos. Ryan listed until frustration won out and he resorted to gesturing at the air around them as if it were full of proof that exemplified whatever point he was trying to make.

“Ryan, I don’t know how often you’ve been around people who are plotting to fake a relationship at an ex’s wedding but I think it’s fairly normal for us to be acting a bit strangely. Besides, Geoff is probably just feeling sorry for me, trying to make me feel better about the whole Ally situation.” Matt had stumbled a little over his words but surely this was the explanation that made the most sense.

“I give up. Have fun this weekend dumbass.”

  


***

  


Despite the fact that everyone was engrossed in work when he and Geoff left the office later that day, Matt felt all eyes on him as he slung his backpack on. Throughout the day each of his co-workers had found an excuse to approach him with some jokingly offering advice, others asking how he was feeling in hushed tones, or just laughing in his face for a full five minutes as Jeremy had clearly deemed necessary to do.

Geoff for his part was relatively calm about the whole situation. He’d been subject to a few suggestive comments as they prepared to leave but he either waved them off or countered with a witty response. It was a quality that Matt admired, or rather a sign of many. His ability to take things in stride, his sense of humour, his downright charm. He refused Matt’s offer of gas money as they got into the car, joking that he didn’t want to feel prostituted. As they set off Geoff clarified that he was actually looking forward to this trip, it would be nice to get out of Austin even if it was only to Dallas, and that lying to strangers sounded like his kind of fun. Matt agreed and an unbidden sense of warmth filled his chest as he thought of the weekend ahead.

If the drive was a long one it certainly didn’t feel like it. They’d aimed to prepare details that they might be asked about each other but the conversation soon lost its seriousness after they’d decided on their anniversary (6th of July), and what they did on their first date (picnic by the lake).

“What’s your mother’s maiden name?”

“Oh come on Geoff who the fuck is going to ask that, they're not asking me to reset my password or access my bank account.”

“Alright then, what’s your star sign?”

“Oh fuck no,” Matt folded his arms but he couldn’t help laughing.

“I guarantee that some chick is gonna ask us that, try and work out how compatible we are or something.”

“I dunno man, never read my horoscope.”

“Pretty sure you’re a gemini, same as me. 6th of June right?”

“Uh yeah,” Matt said, not sure whether to be pleased that Geoff knew his birthday or surprised that he knew about astrology, “So what does that mean for… us then?”

Geoff grinned, “Fuck if I know, bet we’re gonna find out though.”

The hotel room saw a few slight hitches to their day. In hindsight, Matt should have seen this coming, since Ally sorted the room for them out of those she’d reserved for guests and she was under the impression that he and Geoff were together, she’d kindly given them a room with one double bed.

“If you behave I’ll let you share with me,” Geoff joked, “but if you throw up tonight you’re sleeping in the bath.”

Matt swallowed the lump in his throat and attempted the same nonchalance that Geoff excelled at, “Looks like you’ll be having the pleasure of my company then. I know I’ve earned my reputation as a lightweight but I don’t plan on getting hammered.”

Geoff raised an eyebrow, “At the party for the wedding of the ex that you still have feelings for?”

Matt considered the situation and felt surprisingly little motivation to drown out the details with alcohol, “Nah man. Besides, I’ve got to be on top of my game if we want to pull off this ruse.”

“Eh, it’ll be a breeze.We’ll be the cutest couple in the room.”

“Oh hell yeah dude, we’ll be better at doing coupley things than any… oh  _ fuck.”  _ Matt sank onto the bed and dropped his head into his hands.

He had come to an uncomfortable realisation. Because despite having been single for a while, he remembered what being in a relationship meant. Although they were mostly prepared, Matt couldn’t help feeling that they might run into a situation that they hadn’t yet thought about.

“Oh god, could you just not freak out right now? We’ve covered all this dude,” Geoff seemed ready to reiterate the exasperated assurances he’d been giving over the past couple of weeks until Matt shook his head.

“No, it’s just, you know how people are with new couples, they might expect us to be-”

“Banging in front of them?” Geoff proposed dryly.

“More romantic.” Matt finished with a grimace, “Y’know, like…” he trailed off as embarrassment got the better of him.

Geoff threw his hands up and gave a frustrated groan,“No fucking wonder Ally was your last relationship you can’t even talk about this stuff without breaking out in hives.”

“Alright,” it stung a little to hear Geoff say it but Matt knew it was the truth. He’d never been good at taking any sort of plunge when it came to dating, and apparently fake-dating, “Kiss. They might expect us to kiss.”

If Geoff’s eye roll was anything to go by then Matt had been working himself up needlessly, “Jesus was that really so hard to say?”

Only it wasn’t needless. This situation was fucking ridiculous, it was scary, it was mortifying and it was thrilling in a way that Matt didn’t yet know how to deal with.“Oh because kissing my sort-of-boss is normal? I’m supposed to be calm about this? You do realise we still have to fucking work together after this?”

“Dude, we just won’t make it weird,” Geoff said, as if it were obvious, “Compartmentalise. Like the other stuff, you’re getting used to that right?”

Matt grunted. He wasn’t exactly used to it but he was no longer turning ten shades of pink at unexpected contact.

“So we’ll practice. That way if we have to kiss at any point you won’t have a fucking aneurysm,” Geoff mocked, but his smile was tentative and although he sat next to Matt on the bed he kept his distance.

He was probably trying to gauge whether Matt was about to run for the hills. It was getting annoying really, Matt was starting to get the impression that Geoff saw him as breakable. He’d never acted this way before all this, Achievement Hunter was not a place of boundaries and mollycoddling. He didn’t know whether Geoff thought he was still mourning Ally’s upcoming marriage, or that he thought that Matt had been single for so long that he had regained his virgin status and needed to be treated like glass. Although the second prospect was starting to become an issue, Matt was feeling surprisingly calm about the first. He was more worried that they would get caught in their lie than he was about watching the woman he had loved get married to someone else. Fuck it then. He’d have to make damn sure they didn’t look like they were faking.

“Sure,” Matt said with as much confidence as he could muster, “Let’s do it.”

He pressed a quick kiss to Geoff’s lips, pulling away before he considered whether it had been long enough. Geoff’s amusement confirmed his suspicions although his laugh was not unkind.

“Nice try Matt but that was a thirty-years-into-a-loveless-marriage kiss and you’re  _ still  _ blushing,” he shuffled closer to Matt and placed a hand on his knee, “try kissing me like I’m not your grandma.”

Matt wasn’t sure whether he managed to get out a quiet  _ Fuck you  _ before they both leaned in and kissed again. It was slow but Matt was determined to put as much purpose into the movement as Geoff did. Once they’d separated, Geoff took one look at Matt’s wide eyes and red face and determined that they needed to keep going. So they did.

Geoff pulled back again and brought a hand to Matt’s cheek as if measuring the temperature. His lips were still parted and he raised his eyebrows in a question.

Matt nodded and practically whispered, “Again.”

After that they pulled back a few more times, each time making eye contact for a tense moment before wordlessly agreeing to continue. Each kiss held a little more heat than the last and before long Matt and Geoff were as close as they could manage in their side-by-side position on the bed. Matt was no longer uncomfortable, but he felt adrift and his hand wandered to Geoff’s knee to steady himself. The reaction was like pressing a button, Geoff’s body pressed even more into his and their kissing gained momentum. This, along with noticing that their breathing had gotten pretty heavy, threatened to turn this into something other than practice. The feeling that Matt had been experiencing from the moment they leaned in for that second kiss seemed to be mirrored in Geoff’s actions.  _ Want.  _ Geoff was kissing him like he  _ wanted  _ him.

Matt was pretty good at multitasking, although this mostly consisted of playing video games while watching tv, but the full extent of his talents had never been tested so much as now. Now his brain was somehow able to run at a mile a minute while making out. Not that it was doing anything useful, mostly just panicking and questions. A lot of questions, most of them amounting to “why?” and “how?”.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Geoff found a way to short circuit Matt entirely. The hand that had been on Matt’s jaw had now moved to the back of his neck and into his hair. Matt, in his distracted state, let out an honest-to-god  _ whine. _

The noise sent a jolt through them both and they separated, worked up and surprised. It was a few seconds before Geoff drew the offending hand away, during which he said nothing, and Matt felt pinned by his questioning glare.

Which was just typical really. The one time that Geoff didn’t have something to say, an explanation, a smart-ass comment, anything to dispel the fucking awkwardness. No, Matt was going to have to get through this on his own, attempt to smooth things over but probably just end up running his mouth like a fucking-

“Uhhh, great. Yeah, fine. So we’ll just… we’ll do that then. Later, that’ll be fine.”

Geoff let out a frustrated sigh and rolled his eyes before standing up, “I’m gonna go take a shower."

He left Matt stunned on the bed with tingling lips, a shortage of breath, and a newly realised crush on his fake boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild Feelings appeared!
> 
> Believe it or not that last bit is the steamiest thing I've ever written so apologies if it's really awkward lol
> 
> There will be at least two more chapters and the next one should be here in a week or less hopefully


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Finally getting closer to the actual wedding ahaha  
> Note that there are mentions of alcohol in this chapter but Geoff specifically will NOT be drinking
> 
> Please let me know if you're enjoying the story so far!  
> Grace x

As they approached the bar that Ally and David had booked out for the party, Geoff pulled Matt to one side. Maybe his hand had been shaking when Geoff had taken it or he’d been really silent on the car ride except for slightly panicked breathing. Either way Geoff had picked up on it. ****  
** **

“Hey, you alright?” ****  
** **

And wasn't that a loaded question. ****  
** **

On the upside, Matt was no longer panicking about pretending to be in love with his friend and kind-of-boss to convince his ex that he was over her. However, the plummeting downside was that he now needed to keep said friend-kind-of-boss from realising that he was falling for him while faking a relationship with him at what was likely to be his ex's extremely romantic wedding. Fuck. ****  
** **

Geoff for his part seemed to forget all about the accidental make out session by the time he'd come out of the shower. Hell, Roosterteeth as a company probably had a record breaking number of co-workers kissing each other, this was just par for the course right? ****  
** **

At least he had a pretty good excuse for his jittery behaviour though the words took a while to surface, “Yeah, just nervous. Don’t really know how everyone’s gonna react.” ****  
** **

Geoff’s hand moved to Matt’s upper arm, “Wait, are they all gonna be okay about…” he gestured between the two of them, “the gay thing?” ****  
** **

Matt would have laughed if he were less worried, “Yeah, yeah, that’s all fine. All those friends know I’m bi and Ally is too so I doubt she would have invited anyone who would be an asshole about it.” ****  
** **

A thought struck Matt for the first time since this whole mess began, “Thanks for being cool about it all by the way. Don’t think I ever really made it clear to you guys at work before now.” Another handy side effect of this plan Matt supposed, an efficient if odd way to come out to the AH crew. ****  
** **

Geoff raised his eyebrows, “Would have been a bit hypocritical of me not to. Besides, I know about your crush on Chris Hemsworth, I’ve heard the way you wax poetic about Thor’s “hammer”. Frankly, my suspicions were pretty much confirmed by that kiss with Jeremy at extra life.” ****  
** **

“Oh God no,” Matt grimaced, kissing Jeremy had basically been like kissing his brother, “no offence to the guy but he’s really not my type.” ****  
** **

Geoff shrugged, “So, uh… what is your type then?” ****  
** **

The amused tone he usually adopted when they talked about this sort of stuff was gone. Geoff wasn’t asking this question to tease him, for whatever reason he actually wanted to know the answer. The sincerity left Matt off guard and his reply was a surprise even to himself. ****  
** **

“You.” ****  
** **

_Fuck._ ****  
** **

“At least, that’s what we need everyone to believe.” ****  
** **

Geoff winked and said something about it being time to go inside, he seemed oblivious to the panicked pause that had felt like an eternity. If anyone realised anything at that moment it was Matt. Because now that he was thinking about it, Geoff would be his type. The fact that he hadn’t realised before now was frankly ridiculous. Sure, he’d been struck dumb by how attractive Geoff was when they’d first met in person but he’d put it down to hero worship and filed those feelings away with his other crushes on unattainable people. Right between Jason Momoa and Brie Larson. ****  
** **

If you told past Matt that one day he’d be making out with Geoff Ramsey he would… well, he just wouldn’t believe it. You could show him video evidence and he would just reason that people in the future must be better at editing now.Then he would convince himself that the whole future thing was a strange elaborate prank. Probably masterminded by Gavin. ****  
** **

He was thankfully distracted from his ever diverting train of thought by Geoff taking his hand again and leading him into the bar. They both scanned the room for Ally and spotted her just as she saw them. She waved and said something to the man that she was standing with who smiled and followed her as she came to greet them. She hugged Matt first and then Geoff before settling on the arm of the man who was presumably her fiancé. ****  
** **

“I’m so glad you could make it. David, this is Matt and his boyfriend Geoff. Guys this is my almost husband David.” ****  
** **

Ally was practically glowing at these last words and although Matt felt a pinch at seeing them so happy together, he was nonetheless pleased for the obviously loved-up pair. David gave each of them a warm handshake and thanked them for coming as he knew how important it was for Ally. ****  
** **

“Don’t worry,” David said, “I’m not gonna be that asshole who harasses you just because you and Ally used to date. She’s told me how great you both are, hey, we should definitely all meet up again once this crazy shindig is over, right?”

Matt agreed, but the discussion of life after the wedding reminded him of something he’d avoided thinking about. Once this was over things would go back to normal. _Wow, that kinda sucks._

“Sounds great!” Geoff added, noticing Matt’s lack lustre reply, “if I can get this one out of the house, that is,” he threw an arm around Matt’s waist and he felt steadier for it, managing a laugh at Geoff’s next comment, “although I do love having him all to myself.”

The affectionate remark came with a peck on the cheek, and rather than throwing him into _holy shit_ mode as it had done the first time, Matt felt a lot calmer for it. He was even getting used to the lack of personal space, it was nice to have someone to be close with, even if the situation was unconventional. As more guests arrived, Ally and David moved away, promising to catch up later in the night. 

“Punk ass bitches,” Geoff muttered. Matt pulled away slightly in surprise but Geoff squeezed his waist and reassured him, “I’m kidding, Ally’s lovely and that dude seems nice at least.”

He could tell that Geoff wanted his opinion on David but knew that it would be more complicated than a few subtle whispers could convey. Then two women began waving excitedly at them and beckoning for Matt to come and join their group.

“I’m guessing those are your friends?” ****  
** **

“Yup, I’m ready for the gallows officer,” Matt knew from the hungry look on their faces that they had clocked the mystery man at his side and that if Ally had updated them on Geoff, she hadn’t provided nearly as many details as they wanted. ****  
** **

“Cheerful as ever. Can we save those kind of hilarious jokes for when we’re not playing the happy new couple?” Geoff broke out his best people-pleasing smile and led Matt over before he could respond.

****

* * *

****

On the car ride over Matt had briefed Geoff at his request so that he could make as good an impression on his friends as possible. ****  
** **

_“I know that they don’t_ need _to love me, they just need to believe we’re together… but what’s the harm in showing off how much of an upgrade I am?”_ ****  
** **

Matt had scoffed to cover up his spluttering and then conceded a few key facts that would be enough to make it through a couple of hours of polite party conversation. For example, Rita was pretty chatty so talking wouldn’t be an issue there. Her, her girlfriend Fran, and most of the others still lived in Austin so he could resort to that topic if he had to. And, please for god’s sake, do not tell Fran that her hair streak makes her look like Rogue from X-men, she’s heard that enough times already. ****  
** **

Matt caught a slight twitch at the corner of Geoff’s mouth as he spotted Fran’s streak and he quickly moved on to introducing him to Scott and Peter as well. The typical comments about how Matt was looking well seemed more genuine than usual and they greeted Geoff warmly, impressed by him as well. ****  
** **

“No Els tonight?” Matt was disappointed that he couldn’t see her, Els had a great sense of humour. She reminded him a lot of Lindsay actually, motherhood hadn’t tempered her spirited, sometimes chaotic, banter. ****  
** **

“Sorry man, just me tonight,” Scott replied, “Her mother’s looking after the twins while we’re at the wedding tomorrow and we were worried that two days in a row watching the little terrors would send her to an early grave.” He sounded exasperated but the grin on his face betrayed how he really felt about Joe and Ethan. They were adorable kids really, even if the last time Matt had seen them their favourite games seemed to involve stomping on Matt’s feet and pulling his hair whenever they could reach. ****  
** **

“What about you, Peter? You.. uh, going stag too?” The last time that Matt had spoken to Peter on the phone he’d been dating some guy called Liam and it sounded like it was going pretty well. He couldn’t sing the guy’s praises enough. All the same, boyfriends didn’t seem to stick with Peter and it was safer not to ask in specifics. ****  
** **

“Yup. Still single.” he replied tersely, Scott’s encouraging pat on the shoulder didn’t seem to loosen him any. ****  
** **

“Hey, don’t worry man,” Geoff assured, “catch that bouquet tomorrow and the suitors will be lining up at your door.” ****  
** **

Peter only grunted, he didn’t seem to appreciate the joke, probably because Geoff was an outsider. Thankfully Rita commandeered the conversation to ask about how they’d met and Geoff and Matt settled onto one of the loveseats, comfortably reeling out the same story they’d given Ally. That they’d met when Matt started working for Geoff and after worrying about workplace dynamics for far too long Geoff had eventually asked him out. ****  
** **

“He didn’t even realise that our first date was a date if you can believe it,” Geoff teased, leaning into Matt and pinching his cheek in the way he’d seen Michael and Lindsay do countless times. ****  
** **

“You asked if I wanted to get tacos on our lunch break and I thought you only paid because I left my wallet on my desk,” Matt defended. This part of the story was a new fabrication but it was fairly easy to go along with as even Matt had to admit that it was pretty in character. Ally had been the one to ask him out in the end, according to all their friends he’d been ignoring some pretty heavy hints that she was into him and her affections came as a surprise. ****  
** **

“And apparently he didn’t notice that he was the only person I asked and that I kept the receipt as a memento. Attached it to my monitor at work and everything.” ****  
** **

Talk about sappy. Matt’s friends were eating it up, cooing appropriately. Scott, ever the romantic, clutched at his chest as if calming his heart and Fran and Rita reached for each other’s hands. Matt himself wasn’t exactly immune to Geoff’s storytelling, the idea of someone getting so sentimental over him sent a bittersweet pang through his chest. ****  
** **

Surprisingly it was Peter who asked the next question, he’d been silent for a while, evidently still sour at Geoff’s involvement in his love-life. Now though, it seemed his curiosity was piqued. ****  
** **

“So, how exactly did you realise you were into each other? You don’t seem like Matt’s usual type.” Luckily Peter sounded intrigued, or maybe confused, rather than accusing. ****  
** **

Before Matt could come up with an answer, Scott broke in, “Dude, what? Not Matt’s type? Hot, funny, and into the same nerdy shit he is? Yeah, sure.” he scoffed and raised his eyebrows. ****  
** **

Geoff didn’t acknowledge the compliments, although Matt was sure he’d be hearing about them later, instead he directed a saccharine smile towards Peter. ****  
** **

“Well, it’s hard not to love Matt really, isn’t it? I don’t know exactly when it happened but I think I realised when he let it slip that he was pining over someone else - his ex.” ****  
** **

Although they hadn’t discussed this particular lie before, it wasn’t unexpected. They had agreed that the best way to come up with lies on the spot was to stick as close to the truth as possible. Geoff probably figured that this whole mess started the first time that Matt, in his drunken melancholy, had lamented his break-up with Ally. Thankfully Matt had sparse contact with these friends recently and his facebook use was minimal so there was no real suggestion that the ex Geoff was talking about was Ally. Plus if he wasn’t over Ally he’d hardly be showing up to her wedding all loved up with a new boyfriend. That had been the gist of their plan at least. ****  
** **

Matt tuned out of the rest of Geoff’s explanation, remembering that he needed to come up with his own. It was a shock when the answer came easily and he readily admitted to everyone that his feelings for Geoff were gradual but the deciding moment was the time they went to both Paris and London. It was the first time he’d spent a significant amount of time with Geoff outside of work and his quiet enthusiasm brought fun to what could have been an otherwise tiring trip.. He hadn’t realised how true it was until he’d said it. The trip had left him happy-giddy for at least a week after they’d gotten back and it was nice to have an experience that he shared with only a couple of his co-workers. ****  
** **

Now that that particular Pandora’s box of Geoff-related feelings had burst open of its own accord (with a little encouragement from their earlier make out session), there was no closing the lid on it. It was hard not to see every event involving Geoff in this new, terrifyingly romantic light. ****  
** **

At some point Geoff must have grabbed his hand and it was only as he fell silent that Matt realised that he’d been stroking his thumb across the other’s knuckles, more as a comfort to himself than Geoff. ****  
** **

“Well, fuck,” Geoff laughed, “If I had known that I wouldn’t have invited Alfredo along to third wheel.” ****  
** **

“But then we would have spent the trip even more sleep deprived than we already were,” Matt quipped with an exaggerated wink, proud when Geoff spluttered and the others whooped.

The group soon settled into the rhythm of light-hearted conversation and Matt felt more relaxed now that he and Geoff were no longer the centre of attention. He’d been spaced out for a while, tracing the tattoos on the back of Geoff’s hand, when Ally gave him a tap on the shoulder. ****  
** **

“Hey, can we have a quick chat?” ****  
** **

She looked more serious than before and the levity in her tone sounded forced. Matt wasn’t the only one that thought so, judging by the way that conversation halted and all eyes were now on them. ****  
** **

“Uh, sure,” Matt said, unable to keep a questioning edge from his voice, “Back in a minute babe.” ****  
** **

He kissed Geoff’s cheek before heading over to the corner of the bar that Ally was gesturing towards. As he walked away, he could hear Geoff joking to the others about this being the time to tell all their embarrassing stories about Matt. He was thankful for the shift in subject but nevertheless prayed that they didn’t take it seriously. He’d done a _lot_ of stupid shit that he didn’t want to become common knowledge back at the office.

* * *

****

“Okay I’ve got something serious and shitty to tell you, _seriously_ shitty,” Ally was picking at her nails and it was clear that she was struggling to stand still, “I would have told you before today but I honestly just remembered and now I’m _convinced_ it’s gonna come up and… if you don’t want to come tomorrow, then I get it.” ****  
** **

Matt laughed nervously, “Fuck, Ally, I’m sure it can’t be that bad.” ****  
** **

“I’ll just say it,” Ally took a deep breath and shook her head as if there were flies around it, “I met David a few months before I called things off with you.” ****  
** **

Something must have shown on Matt’s face as his heart dropped because Ally started to wave her hands, movements frantic but small so as not to attract attention. ****  
** **

“Matt, I swear on my life _nothing_ happened until after we’d broken up,” his silence seemed to suggest the worst and tears began to rise in Ally’s eyes, “I promise, please Matt, I would never have done that to you.” ****  
** **

She thought he didn’t believe her Matt realised, and although he had questions, that thought had never entered his mind. Ally was a good person, that was why he was here in the first place. ****  
** **

“It’s okay, I believe you, I just… is he the reason you broke up with me?” Ally flinched at the question, “I’m sorry-” ****  
** **

“No it's okay,” Ally was still nervous but a lot calmer now that she knew that Matt didn’t hate her, “He was one of the reasons I broke up with you. Nothing happened but I knew that if I could feel that way about someone else then we weren’t right for each other. That’s the truth.” ****  
** **

Matt understood, he knew it had been the right thing to do, but it still stung. Though not for the reasons he expected it to. He was surprised to find that not even a small part of him wanted him and Ally to get back together. Maybe he should have felt that David had “stolen” Ally from him, or that Ally had made a mistake by throwing away what they had for the sake of some butterflies, but he didn’t. How could he after seeing them together? But that was it, comparing the two relationships meant that he couldn’t help but compare himself to David. And it was hard to like what he saw. ****  
** **

He was then aware of Geoff’s eyes on him from across the room. Ally had angled the conversation so that her face couldn’t be seen, but Matt’s was there to be read by anyone. Judging by Geoff’s expression he was concerned at what he was reading. Matt tried his best reassuring smile and Geoff nodded and returned to conversation. ****  
** **

This interaction hadn’t escaped Ally’s notice and she seemed cheered by it, remarking how great it was for Matt to have found someone like Geoff, “Obviously he’s lucky to have you, but it seems like you’re pretty damn lucky to have him as well.” ****  
** **

Matt blushed in response, hearing about his and Geoff’s compatibility gave him warm and fuzzy feelings that were pretty distinct from ruse-related relief. If this crush continued to rear it’s not-so-ugly head it could spell trouble for the rest of the weekend. The last thing he needed was to fall hard for someone who didn’t feel the same way about him… again. ****  
** **

“Come on, let’s go get a drink.” ****  
** **

They headed over to the bar and it wasn’t until they’d ordered that Matt realised that although he and Ally were clearly on good terms, he hadn’t actually done much to persuade her that everything was fine. On the one hand, this meant that she could tell that it hadn’t bothered him too much. On the other, Matt knew from their time together that Ally was likely to over-analyse this interaction later and it would help to have something concrete to remind her that everything _really was fine._ ****  
** **

“It really is fine,” Matt said, “You did the right thing. Especially since this is your future husband we’re talking about. Near future.” It was pretty exciting actually. No one this close to Matt had gotten married before, he’d been to a couple of cousins’ weddings but no one he cared this much about. ****  
** **

Ally relaxed visibly by another degree, “God I know, it’s so crazy. And thanks, for being so cool about this.” ****  
** **

She appeared to be reading Matt for a second and then her smile took on a mischievous air, “Who knows, maybe _your_ future husband is on the horizon too,” she cast her eyes over to Geoff in a meaningful manner, “Near future?” ****  
** **

Wasn’t that a thought. Him and Geoff, 'til death do they part and all that shit. Huh. ****  
** **

A couple of hours ago mild attraction had morphed into an intense crush and now he was stuck with the image of married bliss, thanks to Ally (oh the days when his biggest problem was being in love with her). It wasn’t realistic though, the doting couple that Ally was basing her theory on was a complete fabrication, now tainted slightly by feelings of longing from Matt’s end. ****  
** **

“Ha fuckin’ ha Ally. I don’t even know what he thinks about marriage, and besides he doesn’t feel that way about me.” He realised he’d been answering too truthfully and added, “not yet anyway, it’s too soon.” ****  
** **

Ally’s smug expression didn’t slip an inch through Matt’s waverings, “I was mostly joking about the whole chapel and vows and big white dress wedding but Geoff? It’s not hard to see how he feels about you. This could be the real deal.” ****  
** **

_Real._ Matt scoffed, at least this meant that their farce was convincing. He thought that Geoff should go in for more acting roles when they got back to work. ****  
** **

Ally looked like she had more to say, probably a lecture about Matt’s self esteem, but was stopped by the approach of Peter and Geoff. ****  
** **

“Hope we’re not interrupting,” Geoff said, his smile more like a gritting of the teeth, “ _Paul_ here seemed to think the two of you could use some company.” ****  
** **

Peter corrected his name in a strained manner that suggested that this wasn’t the first time Geoff had gotten it wrong. ****  
** **

Geoff gave him an apologetic look but didn’t correct himself. Once he was sat next to Ally, now the only available seat once Peter insinuated himself between Ally and Matt, he rolled his eyes in a way that meant _fucking idiot._ Matt had been on the receiving end of this gesture more times than most, but this one was lacking the usual twitching upwards at the corners of his mouth. It was a subtle distinction but easy for Matt to catch, Geoff was actually kinda pissed off. ****  
** **

“So, chatting about the good old days?” Peter said, oblivious to the tension caused by his intrusion into the conversation. ****  
** **

“Nope, looking forward to new and better days actually,” Ally said with brisk cheerfulness, “It just… it really feels like everything is falling into place for all of us, you know? Everything’s different, but good.” ****  
** **

A couple of weeks ago Matt might have objected to this, but now he had no desire to go back to those early days. His introduction to this now long established friend group began just after he’d moved to Austin and met Ally. Sure, those times had been great and he still missed it in a way, but overall they were all better off. Anyone that knew Rita and Fran now would hardly believe that their relationship had once been so rocky that Sylvester Stallone had threatened to sue, over the years they had become unshakeable. It was equally hard to imagine Scott and Els without the kids, they were more tired and less available but in a constant state of contentment, in spite of the stressful days. Even Peter had newfound confidence, probably a result of his shiny new promotion (and shiny new muscles). ****  
** **

And as for himself? The fact that he was able to cheerlead his friends’ accomplishments with only a hint of jealousy was a sign of his own success. Yes, he might have concocted a hallmark movie style plan because he was too scared to go to his ex’s wedding solo but generally his life was on an upward trend. This was just a blip, a surprisingly enjoyable though stress inducing blip. ****  
** **

Ally’s statement had launched them into recalling (mostly) treasured memories, with the aim of catching Geoff up in regards to their friendship. He listened with quiet enthusiasm, inserting appropriate (read: embarrassing) anecdotes that he and Matt had shared more recently. ****  
** **

“I have to say,” Geoff said, gesturing over to where the others sat, “I got a rather… different set of stories from those guys over there.” ****  
** **

Matt groaned into his hands while Ally and Peter practically jumped off their seats in excitement. ****  
** **

“You heard the one about the raw cake mix right?” ****  
** **

“Ooh, the seagull and his glasses!” ****  
** **

“Any karaoke stories are classic.” ****  
** **

As if on a timer, Ally and Peter turned to each other in breathless excitement and uttered the dreaded words simultaneously. ****  
** **

_“Perineum Falkor.”_ ****  
** **

“Excuse me, what now?” ****  
** **

“Fucking drunk movie nights,” Matt mumbled, already anticipating the retelling that this story was sure to get back at the office. It was a good thing that his co-workers never took him seriously in the first place. ****  
** **

“We learned a LOT about Matt on drunk movie nights.” Peter had the decency to look at least a little sympathetic about the death of his dignity. ****  
** **

“ _This_ story is about how Matt explained his bisexuality to us.” Ally was beginning to slur her words a little and it was hard to tell how much of it was the alcohol and how much was pure exhilaration. ****  
** **

“Explained is a very strong word,” said Peter. ****  
** **

Ally shrugged, “Okay, so he _may_ have screamed at the TV that he wanted Han Solo to fuck him into a galaxy far, far away.” ****  
** **

Geoff burst out laughing at this, it was joyful and warm and Matt wished it wasn’t directed at his own idiocy. And the worst part of the story hadn’t even come to light yet. Matt absolutely stood by his statement, Harrison Ford was hot as fuck, especially with the charming scoundrel vibe he had going on in the Star Wars movies. He would admit that he wanted a piece of that any time, maybe with less yelling though. ****  
** **

Peter was now laughing as well and could barely continue to the fatal part of the story, “Except… except, Scott didn’t hear him the first time…So, Matt right? He grabs him by the face-” ****  
** **

Here Peter shifted his posture and cleared his throat for his incoming impression. ****  
** **

_“Did I stutter? I want Mr. Harleyson Ford to RAIL me, right there, on the floor of the Perineum Falkor!”_ ****  
** **

Even Matt couldn’t help but laugh at this, he was no stranger to embarrassing moments and he had to admit that this was one of his more iconic ones. Besides, it was hard to be cross when Geoff and the others were having so much fun. ****  
** **

“Fuckin’... fucking Falkor,” Ally gasped, “Like that dumbass dragon from The Neverending Story.” ****  
** **

“And perineum like-” ****  
** **

“Alright, enough,” Matt said, “In my defense, Millenium Falcon has a lot of syllables.”

Geoff raised an eyebrow, “‘You’re not allowed to make fun of Ryan for flubbing ever again.”

****

* * *

****

As the conversation thankfully steered away from a ‘Greatest Hits’ of Matt’s tragic existence, they somehow reached the topic of basketball, and although Matt couldn’t contribute whatsoever a warm feeling settled over him seeing Geoff and Ally getting on so well. ****  
** **

Peter jerked a thumb over his shoulder at them, “Hoops, am I right?” ****  
** **

“Oh yeah,” Matt nodded, “Love me some baskets and uh… balls.” ****  
** **

Peter’s hearty laugh was uncharacteristically jovial, Matt loved the guy but he wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows most of the time. He was more of a quiet chuckle type of guy, when they could cajole him into having fun. ****  
** **

“I’ve missed you Matt, feels like we hardly ever see you anymore,” it felt like there was an accusation behind Peters joking tone, but he didn’t give Matt a chance to reply. “Hey I get it, too busy with the new boyfriend to worry about poor old Pete.” ****  
** **

Matt rolled his eyes, “Well we’ve all been busy Mr. “poor old Pete”, what with Els and Scott’s kids and Ally’s wedding and… wait, you never liked being called Pete.” ****  
** **

Even Geoff had managed to pick up on it, using it to its full annoying potential. Matt and his friends usually only went into “Pete” mode when they were deliberately trying to piss him off. ****  
** **

“Oh I don’t mind it really,” Peter shrugged, “Not when it’s used by someone special.” ****  
** **

He had lowered his voice as he said this and reached out to hold Matt’s wrist. ****  
** **

_Weird._

Geoff’s voice caused him to jump back a little, as much as he could while sitting on a stool, and he was grateful for the intrusion. ****  
** **

“Hey babe, I’m gonna get another drink , you want the same again?” ****  
** **

Matt’s quiet _“thank you dear”_ earned him a stomach flipping wink. Geoff asked Ally and Peter as well, the former raising her empty glass in thanks and the latter replying with a clipped _“no thanks”._ ****  
** **

“So, a whiskey and coke for the lovely gentleman over there, gin and tonic for the bride to be, and… a diet coke for me please.” ****  
** **

Peter scoffed quietly, his look of derision only caught by Matt. It would have been so easy to let it go. Geoff didn’t even hear, but for some reason that riled Matt up all the more. Peter didn’t have to be Geoff’s best friend, but mocking him for his sobriety brought a buzz of anger to his chest. He was fully prepared to go full soccer-mom-Karen-let-me-speak-to-the-manager on his ass. Passive aggressive, _aggressive_ aggressive, whatever it took. ****  
** **

“What was that _Pete_ ? You have something to say about my boyfriend’s choice of drink?” ****  
** **

Geoff was still occupied with the bartender but Ally had caught on to their altercation and determined to keep him distracted by the look of it. To Peter’s credit, he managed to look ashamed, but Matt wasn’t letting him off that easily. ****  
** **

“You don’t have to be a fucking asshole about it. Not everyone needs to get drunk to survive social situations.” ****  
** **

(The fact that Matt may have used this method before in the past was irrelevant right now, it was hard to come up with witty insults on the spot.) ****  
** **

“Oh come on Matt,” Peter whinged, “Let’s not kill all the good vibes, huh?” ****  
** **

“The only “good _vibes_ ” you need to worry about are the ones your ex replaced you with.” ****  
** **

Screw what he said about witty insults being hard. Matt was the master. If he hadn’t been engaged in a serious argument he might have punched his fist in the air in victory. ****  
** **

Ally was unable to stall Geoff any longer and he came over to give Matt his drink. He looked back and forth between Matt and Peter, expression amused but questioning. He hadn’t heard any of the conversation, but it wasn’t hard to pick up on the “vibes”. ****  
** **

“You know, I haven’t really had a chance to catch up with Scott and the girls,” Matt said tersely, “Catch ya later.” ****  
** **

He grabbed Geoff’s arm with an accidental amount of force and pulled him away from the bar, almost spilling both of their drinks in the process. ****  
** **

They joined the others silently, not wanting to interrupt their heated debate about whether cereal could and should be consumed without milk. Once they settled onto the couch, drinks safely on the table, Matt melted into Geoff’s side. All this confrontation stuff was exhausting, why did people do it? Geoff slung an arm comfortably around his shoulders and squeezed. ****  
** **

“Damn Matt, a “catch ya later”? That’s ice cold man.” ****  
** **

He’d said it softly, and close enough to his ear that Matt felt a tickling sensation. ****  
** **

“Yeah well, I’m a bad bitch. Always have been.” ****  
** **

Geoff hummed contemplatively, “Ah yes, I should have known, from the first day you stumbled into the office in your Yu-Gi-Oh t-shirt and baggy hoodie. You mumbled hello to me and I was terrified.” ****  
** **

“I hate you.” ****  
** **

Geoff winked and flashed a roguish grin, “ _I know._ ” ****  
** **

“Dude… you did not just reverse Han Solo me.” ****  
** **

“Well, now that I know how much you love Harrison Ford-” ****  
** **

“Oh my god, shut up.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (belated) Halloween folks  
> Nothing is scarier than facing your feelings and insecurities!!! Spooky!!
> 
> My new job has kept me busy so thanks for being patient and thanks for all your wonderful comments  
> I feel the need to preface this possibly emotional chapter by reiterating the fact that this is all just fun fiction and in no way speculation about real people's feelings and relationships. As far as I know, everyone at AH is still happy to be written about in this way
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Grace x

The rest of the evening passed without incident, Geoff didn’t question Peter’s new apologetic (and only slightly sour) attitude and despite his lack of his experience Matt could tell that this event was laid back compared to the average bachelor or bachelorette party. Thank god for the rejection of gendered traditions. He couldn’t imagine what the addition of strippers or the separation of the men and women would have done to the night but it certainly wouldn’t have been an improvement.

****

As he began to get a little buzzed, Matt leaned into Geoff’s touch more. It was indulgent, but not crossing a boundary judging by the welcoming arms around him and regular kisses to his forehead. The only unfortunate side effect was that these sensations were a reminder of those that had occurred earlier that day. Matt caught himself staring at Geoff’s lips and had to remind himself not to snap his head away too fast. In the eyes of his friends, this was a perfectly normal thing to do, a kiss would not be forbidden fruit but rather just desserts.

****

He must have been more obvious than he’d thought, the next time he looked towards Geoff he was met with eyes that were alert and a squeeze to the side that posed an obvious question.

****

_ Shall we? _

****

Matt just smiled and went for it; judging by everyone’s affectionate reactions, their practice had paid off. Even Peter looked struck by the display. He felt only a little guilty that he wasn’t exactly doing this for the same reasons that Geoff was. After all, Geoff had agreed to this, explicitly and enthusiastically if their earlier escapades were anything to go by. He didn’t  _ need  _ to know that Matt was in love with him, especially since he wasn’t going to do anything about it.

****

_ Wait, in  _ love _? _

****

_ Hold your fucking horses Matt. _

****

Since Matt remained quiet for the rest of the evening, it was easy for them to claim that he had a headache so that he and Geoff could head out early. It wasn’t even a total lie, although he’d managed to have fun that night, he felt as though he had been wading against an undercurrent of stress and now he was exhausted.

****

His leaning on Geoff for support was apparently misread as Scott winked at him exaggeratedly and Rita and Fran shared a fistbump without looking at each other as they all said goodbye. Ally, who was drunk by this point, whispered  _ “get some”  _ as she hugged Matt tightly. 

****

So, his imaginary, perceived sex life was going well at least.

* * *

****

The relieved exhale seemed to come from the world itself rather than Matt as they got into the car and closed the doors. The relative solitude that Geoff’s company held was comforting and Matt felt a distinct possibility that he would fall asleep on the ride back to the hotel room. Or he would have, if Geoff didn’t begin asking the questions that had been on his mind all evening.

****

“So… that guy, David, what’s the verdict?

****

“He seems great actually.” It was Matt’s gut reaction and his words sounded honest if a little flat. The realisation of how perfect this dude was for Ally thankfully didn’t come with a sting of jealousy, but it raised other, more complicated emotions.

****

“Yeah, kinda makes it worse doesn’t it?” Geoff mused, “when it’s someone you want to hate because… well, just because. And then they’re just too great to hate.”

****

Matt chuckled at the rhyme but trailed off into muttering, “It doesn’t help that he’s super handsome and charming and basically a massive upgrade in every way. I mean...can’t really blame her for dropping me once this guy came on the scene.”

****

He attempted a laugh to tamper his words but it came out half-hearted and bitter. Geoff reached over to pat his leg comfortingly and it only frustrated Matt more. He didn’t want to give the wrong idea about why he was upset.

****

“It’s not even about her, I don’t want Ally back or anything. It’s just that no one has even looked at me twice in a fucking long time. And I know that relationships aren’t a game, but it really feels like I’m losing. Every time.” He hadn’t meant to voice this, he’d only been half aware that that’s how he was feeling. Alcohol wasn’t exactly known for helping people keep their composure.

****

Geoff raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly, his expression was sceptical but without derision, “Well, if you’re giving up on relationships at your age then I certainly should have thrown in the towel a while ago. Are you serious about thinking no-one’s interested in you?”

****

Something about that made Matt short of breath, “Unless you know something I don’t, then yeah.”

****

“Well, there’s someone who’s  _ definitely  _ into you,” Geoff muttered, now overly focussed on his driving, and by the way that his mouth kept moving without opening, it looked like he was considering his answer carefully, “that Peter guy for one, you can’t tell me you didn’t notice the way that he was acting.”

****

Matt could only make a noise of indignation that morphed into his seven year cough, he really had nothing to say to that. Peter did a lot of strange things that Matt had accepted as enigmatic by now, they weren’t exactly signs of affection. 

****

“Ally barely had you for ten fucking minutes before he had to rush over, and he wasn’t exactly thrilled to meet me.” Geoff gestured towards the road as if it were the path to common sense.

****

“Peter’s just… weird. Probably being  _ extra  _ weird because you were such a hit with our friends, I don’t know, man.”

****

Geoff’s exasperation was building, “you’re being stupid now Matt. There was definitely jealousy there that was about more than friendship, you just don’t want to see it for some fucking reason.”

****

Matt wished he wasn’t stuck in the car to have this conversation, the rising anger had him shifting in his seat, there wasn’t room to throw his hands up or walk away. “Oh, so you’re the expert on Peter now? And I’m just stupid fuckin’ Matt, as per usual.”

****

“No!” Geoff recoiled from his own aggravated tone, “I just think you need to give yourself more credit,” he’d softened both visibly and audibly, not wanting to place any further blame on Matt, “is it too early for us to be having our fake first fight?”

****

It wasn’t exactly an apology, but Geoff was backing down and Matt was prepared to compromise. Geoff’s words brought an uncomfortable but pleasant twist to his stomach. It felt good to have Geoff care about him, even if it wasn’t in the way that he wanted him to.

****

“Don’t worry I fake forgive you already. And for the record, you wouldn’t have to worry about me fake leaving you for Peter.” the thought of it made his skin crawl a little, “He’s an alright guy but a nightmare in relationships. Somehow he manages to be both clingy  _ and _ distant.”

****

If Geoff heard Matt’s reassurances, he didn’t show it. He was too preoccupied to just be focussed on driving and he finally gave in and let his thoughts be known.

****

“Matt, you do know, all the stuff we say in the office, it's just messing around, right? You putting yourself down, well, it's not because of the shit we say is it?” He sounded as if he were on the verge of laughter but his face told a different story.

****

“No it's fine, at least you guys like me enough to joke about it.”

****

It was mostly true. He didn't want to admit that, before he knew where he stood, the words had hurt a little bit. But this was Achievement Hunter. Friendly ribbing bordering on bullying was how they showed affection. It was hard to come into that environment and not be a little thrown off by it. Occasions of sincerity were few and far between but they were so sweet, there wasn’t a doubt about how they all really felt about each other, including Matt.

****

Matt wasn’t sure that a therapist would agree but he saw no problem with his self-deprecating jokes. So what if they occasionally contained an ounce of what he thought was true? They always got a laugh and that was worth it, right?

****

Not satisfied by Matt's answer, Geoff rushed to clarify, “It's like how we call Gavin a skinny English prick, or a dumb fucking bitch, or-”

****

“Geoff, I-”

****

Geoff turned to make intense eye contact, as if attempting to stress a point of utmost importance, “No, really, a real fucking-”

****

Matt giggled until he was out of breath, “Stop... stop … I get it, I get it.”

****

The two fell into a comfortable silence, although Geoff looked like he was still hesitating about something. He nodded rhythmically despite there being no music on the radio.

****

“None of that stuff matters, you know,” he blurted out, just as Matt was considering changing the conversation, “fuckin' how many donuts you eat or how much time you waste on stupid games, anything else we joke about.”

****

It was hard to imagine Geoff being nervous or hesitant to speak his mind but he took a deep breath before continuing, with a slightly desperate edge to his tone, “It doesn't matter because we like you.  _ I  _ like you man.”

****

Matt was taken aback, it wasn't as though Geoff never appreciated him and his talents, he did it surprisingly often. But this wasn't about work, or a joke Matt made, Geoff liked  _ him.  _ Like, as a person. Matt was sure he wouldn’t be obsessing over this moment for the next few weeks. Not at all. His palms were beginning to sweat for a totally unrelated reason.

****

“I uhhh, me too! Like you, I mean.”

****

_ Jesus, _ Matt, thought to himself,  _ I was never going to win any literary prizes but one sincere compliment and the guy has reduced me to "Me Tarzan, you Jane." _

****

“Best boss I've ever had.”

****

Matt’s words were met with an appraising look from Geoff and a quiet “Alright. Cool.”

****

All this emotional talk was beginning to get exhausting. Matt was about to change the subject, thinking that Geoff had no more to say, when he was dropped right back in it.

****

"He's not all that, that David guy. He's not  _ perfect  _ or whatever, no one is."

****

Matt waited for Geoff to make a joke about himself being the exception and when it didn’t come, a profound sense of unease settled in him. He squirmed in his chair and managed only noises of hesitation which earned him an eye roll.

****

"Fucking Christ, Matt, I'm not asking for a philosophical discussion here," the glance he threw in Matt's direction was scornful but fond, "I'm just reminding you that for the people that like you, it’s not a competition or a comparison.”

****

His tone suggested that there was no argument to be had, and Matt wasn’t keen to start one. He gave a murmur of thanks and melted into his seat, confused and concerned as to why  _ this  _ had been the most draining conversation he’d had that evening. Yup, apparently this topped “finding out upsetting secrets about your old relationship” and “confronting your old friend for being a total asshole to your fake boyfriend”. 

****

The failure to convince his friends of his relationship status in every single interaction that night would have been humiliating in a catastrophic way, but apparently Matt would rather deal with  _ that  _ than face his own emotions.

****

_ And so we return to the problem that got us here in the fucking first place,  _ Matt thought,  _ the circle of life, the perpetual renewal of dilemmas stemming from the same shitty cycle. _

****

Still, he’d managed to participate in this emotional conversation somewhat, and had even managed to display a bit of honesty and vulnerability along the way. Sure, maybe he’d been pressured into it by the fact that exiting a moving vehicle was not traditionally considered good for your survival, but it was a start.

****

Now it seemed he was even in the mood for opening up to people, before he knew it, Matt had opened up his phone and answered some messages he’d been avoiding for a few hours now.

* * *

****

Matt and Geoff been back at the hotel room for a couple of hours and had started getting ready for bed, wordlessly maneuvering around each other with only the ambient noise of the TV that neither of them were really watching. Except that wasn’t the only noise, the quiet was frequently punctuated by the loud vibrations of their phones, some messages being received by Geoff and a  _ lot  _ being received by Matt.

****

**_Fiona_ ** _ : yo MYATT how’s ur NOT date with ur NOT bf  _

****

**_Matt_ ** _ : Uh okay so you know how you told me with z e r o sarcasm that this wasn’t gonna blow up in my face? _

****

**_Fiona_ ** _ : ya _

****

**_Matt_ ** _ : You were wrong. Pretty, extremely wrong actually. Bc it’s blown up in my face big time. (: _

****

**_Fiona_ ** _ : dude you coulda just swallowed  _

****

**_Matt_ ** _ : asskdhf FIONA I’m trying to have a MOMENT with you here _

****

_ If you’re gonna be mean I’m telling Dad. _

****

**_Fiona_ ** _ : omg okay spill _

****

**_Matt_ ** _ : So uhhhhhh I might be a bit in lobe with Geoff _

****

**_Fiona_ ** _ : in lobe _

****

_ also, NO DOY DUMBASS, we’ve all known for like a year _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ Alright, fuck off _

****

_ You haven’t even been here a year!! And I only realised like!! An hour ago!! _

****

**_Fiona:_ ** _ alRiGhT _

****

_ bruh, For Real Tho? _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ Yes, for real Fiona. And maybe I’ve liked him since foreber but you don’t get to judge me after that gal pal situation of yours. At least I know when I’m DATING someone. _

****

**_Fiona_ ** _ : do u tho ???? _

****

**_Matt_ ** _ : Right, cool, thanks for the support _

****

**_Fiona:_ ** _ okay chill u dramatic bitch, it'll turn out fine _

****

_ just tell him!! even if we've got this wrong and he doesn't like u, its geoff like,, what's the worst that could happen _

****

**_Matt_ ** _ : Don't like that you're saying "we", don't like that at all. _

****

**_Fiona_ ** _ : goodnight dumbass, try not to freak out and also u better tell him soon _

****

_ for every day of pining you will receive a moonball straight to ur fucking throat x _

****

Fiona's messages were strangely reassuring, it felt good to be called a dumbass. Not because Matt particularly enjoyed being insulted, but it added much needed levity to the situation. A break from thinking about all the potential issues, and instead a chance to bask in the warmth of this crush. 

****

_ Crush. _

****

Even the word was light, juvenile, a little silly. But Matt could really do with some of that Achievement Hunter silliness right now. So much so, that when he received matching mocking texts from Michael and Gavin, he felt a strange spark of happiness. 

****

**_Gavin_ ** _ : Enjoying your sleepover AxialTwat? :^) You two shagged yet? _

****

**_Michael_ ** _ : Hurry up get banged already Bragg ;) _

****

Although sent separately, they were too close in time and subject matter to be coincidental. He could imagine the pair of them laughing over his predicament and again, he felt reassured. He replied with messages that could be summed up with a light-hearted "fuck off" and moved onto the last message, which was from Jeremy.

****

* * *

****

Jeremy had been the first person he came out to at Achievement Hunter, and really the only one he had actually told. It had been during one of their three hour skype calls, the ones that started off as a quick brainstorm for their community videos but neither one was ever keen to hang up. 

****

_ "Okay Matt _ ,  _ I _ really  _ do have to go this time bud. It's been… fuck, three hours man? People are gonna start getting the wrong impression about why you're so keen to make videos with me." _

****

_ “I just like talking to you! I enjoy talking to my friends alright? And don’t flatter yourself douchebag, you’re not my type.” _

****

_ “Am I lacking certain assets Mr. Ladies Man? I’ll have you know that my tits are at least a C cup and I might not have the right “equipment” downstairs but-” _

****

_ “Oh my god please, stop, I’m begging you. Uh, that’s not really an issue since I’m kind of a “whatever equipment you’ve got” sort of guy.” _

****

_ “Oh. So you’re uh… into dudes? Like, as well as girls? Which means you’re-” _

****

_ “Put off by your shitty personality rather than you being a guy, yup.” _

****

_ “Hey!” _

****

_ “...” _

****

_ “Matt? Thanks for telling me buddy. I know this kind of thing ain’t always easy but it hasn’t changed anything. Not for me.” _

****

_ “... thanks Jerem.” _

****

_ “I mean it Matt, and if I gotta bust out the old gymnastics muscles to defend your honour, just let me know.” _

****

_ “Yeah I’m sure your handstands are very intimidating. Seriously though, you’re the best. Talk to you Sunday?” _

****

_ “Yep. Bye Matt! Or should I say  _ **_bi_ ** _ Matt!” _

****

_ “Fucking hell.” _

****

* * *

He trusted Jeremy. Without a doubt. Which made his message even harder to answer.

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ Dude, Fiona may or may not have told me something VERY interesting regarding the fact that you may or may not be in love with Geoff. What happened tho? I’ll fucking bet you didn’t tell her everything. _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ Nice to see that Fiona is good at keeping secrets  _ **_[guessilldie.png]_ **

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ Chill man, She only told me because she thought you already would have _

_ Which you totally should have by the way. I’m married which makes me the relationship expert. _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ You’re married to the girl you’ve been dating since you were thirteen. The ONLY girl you’ve dated _

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ Uhhh yea, so 100% of my relationships have been successful  _ **_[sunglasses face emoji]_ **

_ I’m only asking because I KNOW something happened and I KNOW that you’re freaking out about it when you probably don’t need to. _

****

Well, he’d hit the nail on the head. Was Matt really going to get frustrated and defensive about it? He knew that Jeremy was right, but also that his friend knew when to not rub it in his face. He also knew that no matter how embarrassed he felt about telling him what had happened, Jeremy would hold back on the jokes until Matt felt comfortable enough with the situation. Stupid, caring, asshole Jeremy. He was going to have to tell him.

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ arghhhhh fine _

_ Geoff and I kissed _

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ oh my GOD _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ that’s not even it _

_ we’ve kissed a few times but uh _

_ earlier today we were practicing and things… maybe went a bit too far _

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ PRACTICING, Matt you are a smooth motherfucker _

_ Right sorry soooo by too far you mean?? _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ NOTHING HAPPENED OKAY dndfvkj it was just weird _

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ Hmm like, it felt like more than just two bros kissing for completely necessary reasons? _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ I guess so. And surprisingly that’s an experience I’ve already had to go through _

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ Well that’s good isn’t it? Just tell him how much you enjoyed getting it on with him and maybe he did too _

****

_ I can tell you’re already thinking of reasons not to so STOP _

****

_ Worst case scenario, he doesn’t see u that way bud. It’s not some shitty romcom and he’s not gonna leave u in dallas or avoid u forever. We all know Geoff is a massive sap who loves love so he’s not gonna be a dick about it. _

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ … I guess. I just haven’t been picking up any signals from him idk man _

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ We both know that whatever radar you’re using isn’t worth shit _

****

_ Besides, he never said no homo so…  _ **_[sideways smirking emoji]_ **

****

**_Matt:_ ** _ You never said no homo after WE kissed  _

****

**_Jeremy:_ ** _ Take that how you want buddy ;)  _

****

_ Whatever you do, it’s gonna be fine don’t freak out, see ya monday _

****

* * *

****

Matt snorted out loud, startling both himself and Geoff. For a while they had been sat up in bed side by side, watching the TV and answering the occasional text message. Matt’s phone had been pinging busily and his mind was so preoccupied that he wouldn’t have known whether he was watching a tween romcom or a war documentary. 

****

“You okay?” Geoff asked, looking up momentarily from his own phone.

****

“Yeah, just a pep talk from Jeremy, about tomorrow.”

****

It was actually a cooking competition show that they had been “watching”, one of those British ones that, while lacking in gimmicks and boisterous presenters, still managed to keep tension. One of the judges had just told a contestant that her pork was too dry and that she’d expected the accompanying sauce to have more flavour.

****

“Ouch,” Matt said exaggeratedly, “way to ruin this lady’s whole life.”

****

He looked to Geoff automatically for a response but he was looking at his own phone. Glaring, more like. His expression was blank but he tossed the phone onto the bed with a bit too much force. 

****

“Having pep talk problems of your own?”

****

“You could say that,” Geoff said, “Jack,” as if that explained it perfectly.

****

Matt hummed in response and they settled into the quiet comfort of inane television watching, an art they were both practised in if their easy banter was any signifier.

****

“Pairing lamb and mint? A risky move, a bold choice. He’ll never pull it off.”

****

“I’ll take “stupid ways to present a main course” for one hundred Alex.”

****

“Of course he was going to lose marks for presentation, just look at that  _ shirt. _ ”

****

“I’m pretty sure that judge, that one there in the middle, has her mind on a different kind of dish if you know what I mean.”

****

They continued like this until Matt began to yawn and Geoff took that as a cue to turn the program off. The bed was comfortable and the sheets were soft, Matt slid under them and his eyes slipped closed with a groan of satisfaction. Those texts from his friends had confirmed what he was beginning to suspect anyway, something had to be done. But that something was a problem for future Matt.

****

“So I guess it’s up to me to go and turn the lights out?” Geoff asked, already standing to do so. 

****

“I guess so,” Matt murmured, burrowing further into the bed.

****

Geoff chuckled in the now dark room, “Fuckin’ lazy ass bitch.”

****

“Night, Geoff.”

****

“Night, Matt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When emotions get high I'm never sure whether I'm going ooc or not, and playing around with AH's texting styles was pretty new to me!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed


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